Scoopzz

The constant bickering is now turning into full-fledged fighting.  I tape shows that I love to watch but my husand will only watch the news. He has several recorded news shows.  He said my shows dominate the recorded ones. I explained that I tape them then after watching them delete just as he does with the news shows.   I lost it and said I live here too and it is my TV also and I am entitled to watch them. Well, it ended up in a all out screaming  match and foul language.  

He was diagnosed with mild Mixed Dementia in September.  But, his behavior is getting worse and I don’t know how much more I can tolerate.  I already stopped recording some of the shows so now I deleted and will not record any more.  I am living in hostile atmosphere here, unable to relax. My nerves are frazzled to the core.

Has anyone encountered this where the house no longer belongs  to you and you have to do whatever the spouse wants because he/she has dementia/Alzheimers? How do you handle it when you try to do whatever it is to please the person but it still isn’t good enough due to the illness?

OK Let’s chat about the lack of sleep. Spouse wakes me up at 1:21 AM to ask me why the bedside alarm is reading military time. I said I have no idea, I will fix it in the morning. The response was it is 6PM now. Wow no it isn’t, the time is 1:30AM now, the middle of the night. Somehow, the spouse figured out how to change the military time back to regular time. The night before he had no idea how to do it. The lack of sleep is getting to me. I go back into a not so restful sleep around 9 am and get up at noon. This throws off my body clock.

Another problem is drinking. It is hard to change myself.   My personality and his never really mixed too well.  He was and still might go back to drinking heavily. You see he was falling down in the house most nights dead drunk.  Verbal abuse was sometimes used towards me.  My heart never can’t forgive the nights I stayed up cleaning up the bathroom because he could control his bowels when he was drunk.  He would sleep on the floor and I would cover him with a blanket and watch over him all night.  He had the police here twice because he would star fights with the neighbors.  Arrested once but was released.  Battery on a police officer no less. Charges were dropped because the office decided not to press charges.

So now I am hit with the alzheimers and my days of taking care of him are slowly taking a toll on me m

Well, where do I start with this one. The repeated questions, can at one point, drive any sane person up the wall. Example would be, as in my case, when is my next time for my pill? This is right after he took one.

I posted the below on an Alzheimer’s website responding to a lady who might have to give up her dog she has for 8 years. She might move into a complex that does not allow dogs. She is caring for her Alzheimer’s husband.

I would keep the dog, find a place that allows pets.  Giving up the dog would cause more heartache for you.  This is a very stressful time so making decisions are even harder.  Think about it, listen to your advisor but they can only see one side. You can see what the dog  means to you and your husband.  Let your heart lead to the right decision.  

I am facing a similar situation. I know I wouldn’t be able to care for my spouse so when the time comes I would have to look into a Memory Care Facility.  However, I wouldn’t  be able to stay where I live now money wise   Thinking of the future, I might be better off moving now to a non 55+ community. Here we pay a monthly fee.   Family said  not a good idea because it would be unfamiliar territory to my husband. At this point he is aware of his surroundings but I have to consider what I have to do for myself in the future. 

I have noticed that most articles and books more or less list this and that about talking car of the Alzheimer’s hubby, wife etc.  are there any books on how the Caregiver should take care of themselves?  What a Caregiver can do to take the stress of washing, cleaning and monitoring meds and so on?   Ok we alol can walk away but that isn’t much of a solution because the time would be minimal at least.  Hire someone?  Cost would be rather high to handle on Social Security.  Rely on a family member? Isn’t that putting stress and they feel obligated to do your job.  That harbors resentment.  Just venting.